What is…

stirring you and me into homogeneity...

What is love, but the energy of nature;

What is passion, but the recognition coupled with a longing to become one;

What is sex, but the activate participation to stir you and me into homogeneity.

I thought I knew, yet words constructed mechanically turns into nothing but nonsensible lies…

I thought I knew, yet my mind had planned my sim-world under the cage of karma…

Now I feel, I sense, I embody, and I’m confused…

I thought I knew… I had read, I had learned, and I had memorized.

Yet nothing I learned showed me how to feel…

Now I CAN feel – the truth that always whispered within…

YES…

To know intellectually is to distort,

To know by heart opens the gateway to inspiration,

To know within the body is to truly be – Tis embodiment resonates the energy of natural Tao.

Today I might have touched the grace of God with the confusion of my mind.

I still hear the heavy sound of old bondage…

May God bless our hearts to one day experience the freedom of being, love, passion, and sex.

Sorry

A Reflection of Purity

I’m sorry earth, my senseless acts have hunted your life;

I’m sorry mother, my egoic tension has cut deeper into your wounds;

I’m sorry father, my light walked away from your darkness;

I’m sorry self, my denial of your being has chained you in the dungeon;

I’m sorry friend, my deviation from the truth delayed your growth;

I’m sorry lover, my fear hijacked the beauty of my affection;

I’m sorry teacher, my need to fit in hindered the speed of my progress;

I’m sorry pen, my need to feel safe manipulated the truth of your ink;

I’m sorry Being, my ignorance rejected the return to emptiness – the source of Purity.

The Price of an Open Heart

Opening the heart allows the intensity of consciousness to flow through - let us experience the depth of becoming. (Fractal art title - 4 corners of love - copyright www.FloLi.com)

The Price of an Open Heart

The blissful and accursed price of consciousness,

Once realized can never retreat.

Every choice creates harmony or distress;

Every breath emanates love or contracts fear;

Every thought conscious or unconscious slices through life to heal or to separate.

How material and uncaring ignorance once lived!

Now the pain of knowing…

The desire to stay within blind achievement darkens the sky.

NEVER!

Walk on… this path is a rightful duty of mine.

Let the sword cut.

Let the body trumble.

Let the heart cry.

To live is to know.

To love deeply and intimately within life is to live with an open heart.

This path is mine.

Love’s Angelic Wings

Love and its spectrum of beauty. True love is not what they have painted it to be. It triggers with pain yet shines with glory that uplifts you into the embrace of its angelic wings.

Have you wondered what love is?

I have come to know that most people don’t know what love is.  They see what might look promising on the outside in terms of common interest and shared experiences while never getting deep inside to what is truly important.

Love is deeper than what you do together.  It is a way of being, a way of relating, and a way to mutual growth.  A passive friend who is difficult to connect with saw the outside images and believed it to be love yet she never opened up her eyes to see the deeper love brewing in front of her eyes.  I can’t help but wonder how many people go through life just by acting out the motions of living instead of truly being engaged with every moment.  What I saw in her was a sense of innocent beauty coupled with ice cold denial.  She grabbed onto the pictures of pretend perfection and turned her cheeks away from the embrace of true love.  It played the melody into the highest glory yet she did not hear.  She tightly grabbed onto what she knew.  I shed her tears and it turned into snow.  I secretly hoped that one day she will wake up to the true sunshine of love – the love that is filled with intimacy, uncertainty, wonder, confusion, tenderness, understanding, healing, forgiveness, non-judgment, acceptance, joy, freedom, beauty, fear, courage, momentary attachment, sparks of inspiration; love that makes you be on the edge, inspires you to give yourself completely, pushes you through your own boundaries, and shines with endless glory…

Today I am fulfilled.  How lucky am I to experience the depth of true love and its full spectrum of beauty.  How warm, turbulent yet romantic this past year has danced within us.  How blessed I truly am to be immersed within the love right in front of my eyes.  My heart sings to all the colors of his beauty.  He shall have my undying gratitude and I shall say to him “yes, it is MAGIC!”

It’s not me, it’s your projection!

Are we looking at the same world? (photo by Moriah Diamond)

Let’s talk about projection.  It is a concept from Freudian psychology that I didn’t quite grok back in college – until I gained extensive personal experience in the past few years.  One day I finally realized that I see the world through my eyes, my chemical reactions, and my own internal interpretations of the objects surrounding me.  On top of that, I can judge an object as “good” or “bad” based on how my own psyche painted the world.  What was more interesting is that I found myself labeling people as “judgmental”, “controlling”, or “cold-hearted” because that’s how I often behaved.

Hmmm… Interesting…

So what is projection exactly?  After her father’s death, Anna Freud refined the theory of projection by the addition of Melanie Klein’s new school thought of the nature of defense.  Both Anna Freud and Melaine Klein focused on child developmental psychoanalysis similar to Erik Erikson.  They have found that during the phase of moral development in children, projection is a normal process within a healthy psychological defense system.  However, as we mature into adulthood, this defense mechanism worked to cover up unpleasant self-criticism that can later become an overly rigid coping mechanism that keeps us away from sensing the truth of reality.

In Anna Freud’s The Ego and the Mechanisms of Defense (1966), she pointed out that the ego’s desire is to save itself from unpleasant experiences, therefore it uses the outside world as a source of interest to avoid introspection.  The ego denies reality and lives in its own virtual reality.  To cope, the ego finds an external source to blame instead of taking responsibilities.  For example, instead of admitting that I am judgmental, I project my judgment onto someone else and label that person as judgmental.  This way, I don’t have to face my own weakness. On the contrary, I can hide and blame someone else for being the thing I dislike the most in myself.  It is safer to see the faults of another than our own faults.  By projecting outward what might be painful for us to face, we can momentarily save ourselves the heartache of seeing the truth – in the short run.

In order to truly heal our pain, we must take note of our projections and see that this form of denial no longer serves us in the long run.  Nowadays, whenever I blame someone else for being critical or judgmental and become bend out of shape about it, I often look within myself to see if my ego is actually projecting my judgment outward so I don’t have to deal with the uncomfortableness of my own healing.  When this happens, the internal chatters of my ego block the truth of reality and create its own fantasy world of what is “right” and what is “wrong”.  This takes me away from my current experience and drags me into the fantasy “reality” created by my ego.  The ego is not bad, it is just scared.  It is too scared to be made wrong or being not good enough.  It is really a child who needs the most love and attention.  So don’t be mad at the “ego tricks” but recognize it and transform the fear with love.  I often have a heart to heart conversation with my ego and address all the insecurities within.  By honestly facing my own darkness, I can then allow the light to glow brightly.

So the next time when you find yourself blaming someone else for being the thing you dislike, check within yourself to see if you are using projection to deny healing.  Recongize it, pay attention to it, and embrace it.  Have a heart to heart loving conversation with the scared ego.  You have the power to heal your life by transforming the ego’s fear with your unconditional love.

Live, laugh, and prosper!