Heart Opening Moments

BLOG of a Spiritual Stripper

My Urge to Strip

My Urge to Strip

My Urge to Strip

I’m tired… I broke down and cried to grandma this morning. She is one of those people who never felt the need for her mask to be lifted. She does not understand. She suggested to me that I should use the power of will and stand strong.

In our family, we are comfortable wearing our masks and a thousand layers of intellectual clothing. We are clever and manipulative. We have always been clever enough to hide the real us with some humorous comments or an external distraction. That does not make things easier on the inside. I know we feel so heavy carrying layers of protection. Sometimes I wonder if all that extra weight we carry is really good for our health. Would I feel lighter if I shed the mask and these old layers of protection?

I’m tired… Tired of being who I am today… Tired of wondering what else life could be… Tired of planning… Tired of acting… Tired of everything… I wonder if my ex-boyfriend ever saw the real me… I wonder if I ever saw the real me…

I’m tired… Tired of pretending… Tired of acting… Tired of living… I see myself floating on an endless ocean without a life vest. Just floating… I can’t help but  wonder what would it feels like to take off my masks and layers of protection…

Would I cease to exist?

January 27, 2006 Posted by | Self Realization | , , , , | Leave a comment