Heart Opening Moments

BLOG of a Spiritual Stripper

The Perfect Partner

The Perfect Partner cares, supports, and reflects

The Perfect Partner cares, supports, and reflects

This week while attending the Master NLP Results Certification Training, I have gained a deeper understanding of the perfection underneath the seemingly chaotic world…

Two days ago, as the trainer used a skillfully constructed presupposition anchoring the idea that “we will all work with the perfect partner” during one of the exercises, I laughed to myself in disbelieve.  To me, life has been chaotic and I have often doubted if things are actually “unfolding in divine order” or is it all just a massive quantum soup.  How is it possible for me to find the perfect partner to work with in this crowd of over achievers?  There’s no way anyone would understand what I’m going through.  To me, the perfect partner did not exist.  And all these hypnotic language patterns can trick the mind to believe that “it is all perfect” when in reality circumstances can often be harshly disappointing…

But somehow I wanted to believe…  Maybe somewhere in this quantum soup of potentiality, we do get exactly the perfect set of circumstances for our own healing and growth…  I wanted to believe…

She was my coach…  Blond, thin, graceful, successful and powerful.  She smiled at me when I sat down.  I judged her.  I thought she was too perfect to understand me.  She had the perfect outfit, the perfect smile, and running the perfect company.  She probably never had a misfortune in her life.  She is not me.

Watching my face, she knew what I was thinking but she didn’t mind the judgement.  After passing a few jokes, she looked deeper into my soul while riding on the waves of unstoppable compassion.  There’s something magical about compassion…  It always penetrates all walls – like neutrinos – lack electrical charge, extremely difficult to detect, and consist the ablility to pass through matter undisturbed…  It was this compassion that touched me…  Gazing into her eyes, I felt safe, relaxed and eventually allowed the onset of our healing work together.

My issue was simple – love.  I knew that I had not allowed myself to receive love.  I have built a wall around me so no one can get too close.  Even though I wanted intimacy and connection, I was terribly afraid of getting close to anyone at the same time.   I didn’t allow anyone to get close to me – not my friends, family, nor the kids in my life.  I pull out of hugs way too quickly.  I don’t accept joyously created art pieces from loving 7 year olds.  I switch to a new circle of friends when the current ones get too close.  I can only date guys I am not attracted to.  And I certainly can’t see myself as a good wife or a fabulous mother.  I can be cold, calculating, and sometimes people don’t trust me because I don’t often operate from my heart.  I am an engineer and it shows in my personal relationships…  I knew this is how I kept people away – it protected me and I felt safe within my walls…

Somehow she knew.  She knew me like I was a part of her and she a part of me.  Still riding on the waves of compassion, she worked on finding out the highest intention of my problem part that worked overtime to keep me separate.  The highest intention of the non-problematic part was surprisingly the same.  Within minutes, I could see clearly that both parts of me wanted love, intimacy and connection – and yet they were in conflict with one another on how to achieve that love, intimacy and connection.  As soon as I looked beyond the underlying pain, separation, and coldness my unconscious mind has created – I saw LOVE…  Within seconds, my hands started to move together while I am moving toward a higher level of congruency with myself.  The sun started to shine brightly…  Feeling the warmth of such congruent love, I had no doubt that I could allow these seemingly opposing parts to work as a complete whole…

By the end of the exercise as we completed the Parts Integration with each other – both of us were in tears – finding that we were the perfect mirror for one another.  She was keeping men at an arm’s length while I kept everyone at an arm’s length.  By coaching one another through this intense heart opening experience, we have somehow healed our own difficulties in the process…  And most importantly, she was my perfect mirror – my perfect partner.  I am thankful.

June 19, 2009 - Posted by | Inner Growth | , , , , , , , , ,


  1. I’ve seen a lot of growth in you lately, Flo. I’ve had challenges trusting you in the past because you felt manipulative. But I noticed a while ago a marked change. I’m glad you’ve had more success taking down the walls.

    Comment by cory | June 26, 2009 | Reply

  2. Hi,

    I have seen lots of growth over the two week period that I got to know you. You have opened your heart and you are accepting love from others. I loved seeing the door open up. You are an amazing writer and deep thinker.

    Comment by Doug | July 3, 2009 | Reply

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