Heart Opening Moments

BLOG of a Spiritual Stripper

The Secret Price of Blame

It's always someone else's fault!

It is always someone else's fault!

“It’s all his fault that I’m bankrupt!”

“He is so insensitive to my needs…”

“She triggered my pain with her speech, what a bitch!”

“I wish he would move away so I could be free!”

“She messed up so my job is in jeopardy…”

“If my parents weren’t so awful, I would have been more successful!”

How often do we hear ourselves blaming others for the “misfortune” that just happened to us?  If you don’t blame, I’m sure you have someone in your life who is always blaming the whole world for his or her misfortunes that contributed to endless miseries.  “Only if someone else behaved the way I wanted them to, then I will be happy, rich, and free!”

Well, unfortunately it doesn’t really work that way.  Let’s take a look at Blame Accounting 101.

First of all, when you are blaming someone else, who has the power?  The OTHER PERSON!  You are buying into the belief that he or she is holding the key to your sanity, your happiness, and your power.  So you have given away all of your power to purchase the right to be mad at someone else.

Second, when you are blaming someone else, who is hurting?  YOU!  You are bathing in the toxicity of anger, resentment, and unjustified circumstances.  You might be secretly hoping that the other person would get  hurt because you are mad at them.  Guess what?  Most likely they will not even know that they have done anything “wrong” at all.  So once again, you pay handsomely for the energy drain you personally installed.

Third, what if we didn’t play the blame game at all?  Well, you are still paying a secret price even if you don’t participate.  We say things or act in ways that is true to us.  So sometimes when we are walking down the street, we might bump into someone’s wound unintentionally.  Does that mean we all have to walk on egg shells and stay far away from one another in order to not trigger anyone?  NO!  We are meant to have divine appointments with one another.  Sometimes we are called by the universe to act a certain way or say a certain thing that will bring up pain in someone else’s psyche.  It is all part of the divine matrix.  Only by facing the pain head on, then true healing can finally take place in the heart.  So if you decide to not play the blame game at all, you are still paying a price – the price of none contribution.  When you are walking on egg shells trying hard not to trigger anyone, you are not living authentically and at the same time you are out of integrity.  AND the other person is paying the price staying comfortably in ignorant land.

Sounds like a catch 22?  Well, there is a way out.

So for those of us who still blame others every once in a while, be thankful instead.  Thank those who trigger us for bringing the gift of honesty, the gift of growth, and the gift of healing.  Even at times when we are not ready to consciously admit the gift in our pain , deep within us, our spirit is thankful for the opportunity to heal.

For those of us who get blamed, be compassionate toward the blamers.  They are only crying out in pain for our love and understanding.  Instead of becoming self-righteous, give them the space to gain a sense of clarity before even thinking of jumping into judgment.  Walk away, allow them the space to heal and send loving prayers for their journey.  It is best to be there for them in loving spirit and assist their growth out of sight until they are ready to come back to us again.

Remember, be true to your integrity, take responsibilities, and always choose love.  Good luck on your spiritual journey and be mindful of the energetic prices we pay in life.  Be compassionate to yourself as well as to others.  And don’t forget to SMILE!

August 31, 2009 Posted by | Inner Growth | , , , | 2 Comments

Lotus Purity

"Birthing from the muddy corruption yet it's purity is untouched" - the courageous choice of a Lotus ©Bahmn Farzad / lotusflowerimages.com

"Birthing from the muddy corruption yet it's purity is untouched" - the courageous choice of a Lotus. ©Bahman Farzad / lotusflowerimages.com

A lotus flower begins its journey underneath layers of pond.  Its insignificant birth has been covered with darkness, impurity and hardship.  The flower bud was soaked in layers of marshy, mucky, dirty, sometimes smelling mud.  As the bud comes closer and closer to the surface of the pond and begins to open, it blooms layer by layer – shedding away the old, opening to the new, while presenting its true self.  Unafraid, this beauty reveals the purity of self, its spotless clarity, and its innermost essence.

Just like the lotus flower, our environment can sometimes seem extremely difficult, toxic and filled with darkness.  It does not always seem ideal to make us into the beautiful, pure, confident beings we are meant to be.  Yet somehow we can not escape from the mud we bathe in…  We ask ourselves what is the purpose of all this hardship and what is the purpose of our pain?  Can our “toxic” muddy water really supply us the nutrients that we need?  Is it possible that we are growing stronger and brighter because of our “toxic” environment?

The lotus flower grows from the muddy water of impurities and draws nutrient from its “toxic” environment.  Day after day, it finds courage within when greeted by darkness with-out.  Day after day, it finds the strength within to make the choice to keep on growing with-out…  When the flower finally opens, it touches us with its gentleness, beauty and love…  Simply miraculous indeed!  Looking back, the lotus flower took on the muddy water as a contrast of its untouchable beauty after seemingly endless struggle and doubt – yet it prevails with such stunning purity and inspiring awe…

“The lotus flower resides on top of a muddy pond yet its beauty is uncorrupted and its calmness undisturbed,” mother smiled tenderly, “isn’t that a rare flower?”

August 14, 2009 Posted by | Self Realization | , , | 3 Comments

Heart Intelligence?

Does the heart have its own source of intelligence?

Does the heart have its own source of intelligence?

“Did you calculate that with your calculator?” I was surprised how quickly my mother came up with the solution to my triple digited multiplication.

“No, I used my heart for the calculation.” She answered calmly.

I laughed.  Calculated with her heart?  Isn’t that oxymoron?  So I asked again if she calculated with her mind or her heart in order to get a grip on reality.

Once again, she answered with certainty, “my heart.”

Interesting answer.  Can the heart really calculate?

The heart pumps one hundred gallons of blood per hour, pulsates one hundred thousand times a day, and supplies its own electrical stimulation that continuously beat day and night.  And the expressed magnetic field of the heart is much greater than that of the mind.

So, with all these bells and whistles, is the heart nearly as “smart” as the mind?  And, does the heart harbor infinite intelligence as masters and sages throughout history have suggested?

I do not know.

What I do know is that I have hunched my back so I can hide my heart.  On top of that, I have also walked leaning forward with my head so I can project my mind.  My mind has always been my pride and joy while my heart a disappointment and sadness.  In a sense, I’ve never really trusted my heart as much as I trusted my mind.  My experience has been bitter heartaches and sour teardrops whenever I “blindly” followed my heart instead of relying on the stability and certainty of my mind.  As you can see, thinking the heart as a source of intelligence makes me tremble in disbelieve…

Yet somehow, I can’t deny the sensibility of the Chinese languge that is so deeply rooted in the heart.  Words such as Love, Think, Attention, Appreciation, Intention are all written with the backing of the heart.  Each of these characters  contain the character HEART.  Even expressions such as “listen with your heart” and “beauty of the inner heart” form the everyday language pattern.  Perhaps there is some truth to the heart intelligence.  I do admit there are days during my deeper meditations, I can tap into a source of infinite patience, love and intelligence around the area of my heart.  I cannot pinpoint the exact location but I do recognize it’s existence.  Yet I have somehow denied its existence time after time…

Perhaps there is something more to heart intelligence.  As Howard Gardner pointed out in his book Frames of Mind that intelligence is far more than mere intellect.  The truth is the human system has many types of intelligences such as logical, spatial, musical, kinesthetic, intrapersonal, and interpersonal.  Perhaps the source of moving beyond our linear one-dimensional thinking is through the intelligence of the heart…

Interesting…  I think it is time for further investigation into this phenomenon called heart intelligence.  I’m ready to gain the knowdlege through data I have collected and find the wisdom in the process.  Are you?  What do you think?  What does your heart say?

August 6, 2009 Posted by | Self Realization | , , | 4 Comments

A Revealing Act

Our Critical Nature - "my knees are fat", "I have scars on my legs", "I wish I had more muscles"

Our Critical Nature - "my knees are fat", "I have scars on my legs", "I wish I had more muscles", etc...

“I’m 40 lbs overweight!”

“My legs are short and stubby…”

“I have wrinkles on my face!”

“My arms are HUGE!!!”

“I wish I had flat abs like the models in the magazine…”

“I am pigeon toed…”

“There’s no way I can fit into my prom dress again!”

“I just don’t have the body other girls do…”

“My face is not symmetrical!”

“My chest is too flat…”

“I’m too tall…”

“I’m too short!”

“I’m just not pretty enough!”

Ahhh…  These endless insecurities – always popping up left and right whenever we are, wherever we are.  There are just some days that we just can’t seem to escape another self imposed judgment.  Our insecurities are always hunting us, lingering over us, and keeping us prisoners within these walls of non-acceptance.

My insecurities screamed out loudly two days ago during my photo shoot with OM Photography.  Moriah took a picture of my “fat and stubby” legs before I had a chance to tell her only take pictures of my upper body.  She was quick witted and complimented how sexy my legs and my shoes are.  The only thing I could focus on was how unfit my legs have been since I ended my triathlon career more than 3 years ago.  I disliked my legs and disliked how fat they might look on camera.  It didn’t matter what anybody else said, I had an issue with my own body.

Somehow this photo session turned into a revealing act for me to examine my own insecurities…

Going deeply into my own psyche, I realized that I have always carried around these insecurities wherever I went.  It didn’t matter that I had the best body ever during my fittest days, I was still critical in every way.  It had nothing to do with my body but it had everything to do with me.  It was the way I see myself that mattered!

Remembering the days after I crashed on my bicycle – bloody road rash covering my entire body, swollen purple head the size of a basketball, and not able to move around…  These were the days that I promised to love myself unconditionally.  These were the days that I promised to accept my being for who I am and where I am.  And these were the days that I promised to not judge my work in progress.  And yet how quickly I have forgotten…  How quickly I have forgotten coming face to face with death and yet deciding to live on…  Looking at mysef today, I really don’t have anything to complain!  I have my sight, my voice, my legs and everything else I need.  I am thankful.  I am thankful for my body, for my spirit, and for my soul’s urge to live on.  I am thankful that I am here and ready to make an important contribution to the world.  I am thankful that I am good enough – regardless what the inner critic tells me.

How funny a simple photo session was able to reveal another part of myself that I needed to heal – the insecure child who still thinks that she is not good enough…  Maybe it is time that I can help her understand that she is loved and that she is good enough.  Isn’t time for all of us to tell our inner child “You are good enough, pretty enough, smart enough…  And you will always be – no matter what.”

The deicision is made!  I love me for the way I am – always and forever!  How about you?!

August 2, 2009 Posted by | Emotional Freedom | , , , , | Leave a comment