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Driven by fear?

Harness the power of fear

Harness the Power of Fear and Choose Courage

Life is not easy – it takes tremendous amount of courage to wake up each day, it takes tremendous amount of willingness to be in the moment, and it takes tremendous amount of intelligence to move through fear.  It is a constant choice to live life awaken or asleep.

This morning I woke up not wanting to get out of bed.  The struggles in my mind began before I opened my eyes.  “What if I find more pain on my journey?”  “What if I disappoint those who support me?”  “What if I am not good enough?”  “What if I don’t deserve love?”  Questions as such might seem silly or non-sensible yet the feeling associated with such fear is real.  Initially I did what I always do – ignored the fear and blindly believe it would go away.  As I quieted my mind for a split second, I noticed no amount of ignoring will make any problem (real or imagined) go away.  I can either deal with it or hide in my safe zone again.

Recently my journey has been tough – much tougher than I expected.  When I embarked upon the spiritual journey, I had originally thought that God was going to make everything peachy again.  Much to my surprise, my world has been turned upside down, inside out, and I can no longer tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined.  Everyday I find myself unsure what is going to happen and everyday I have to reaffirm myself and make the choice to move forward no matter what happens.

Today was one of those days I wished I could just hide out or quit.  I wished perhaps I can just take a little break and be asleep for a bit longer.  I even tucked my head underneath the warm blanket and wished the demand of the day would go away and my sense of awareness would disappear.  I secretly hoped that I could once again live an unconscious life instead of having to face the pain of my choices.  I wasn’t sure if I can bear the heaviness of the load I felt within me.  I did not even want to try.  At this very moment I knew I could either play it safe or play to breakthrough and that choice was entirely mine.  I jumped out of bed and stood in front of the mirror.  I can not let myself down.  I had to make the promise to myself to keep healing no matter how painful the process might become.  As I dove into my morning meditation not knowing if I will find bliss or pain, I stayed intimately against my breath and near my thoughts anyway.  I noticed my subconscious wounds have created my thoughts, my thoughts have lead to my emotions, my emotions have lead to my behaviors and my actions, while my actions have given rise to my current circumstances.  It was me – I was responsible for making the choices I made and the actions I took that lead to where I am today.  It was me –  I contributed to my painful reality.  It was me – I shied away from golden opportunities and kept myself frozen with fear.  I can blame no one but my own ignorance.  Now I know better so I can make a different choice.

This is my choice – Feel the fear and have the courage to live deeply anyway.  My journey has become turbulent, unpredictable, and damn right scary.  But it is up to me to continue a hero’s journey.  A hero is the symbol for courage and I shall harness the power of fear and choose to live with courage.

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December 21, 2009 - Posted by | Emotional Freedom, Inner Growth, Tears | , , ,

7 Comments »

  1. Dr. Eric Kandel have found the protein stathmin in the amygdala to be the biological trigger for fear. When they removed the gene, lab mice displayed newfound courage. Some neuroscientists have talked about spreading “fear vaccine” for our species that tweaks our DNA or to inhibit production of fear signals. Some researchers even argue that a dietary supplement can replace years of psychotherapy. No wonder “facing fear and building courage” is the first step in emotional freedom.

    Comment by Flo Li | December 21, 2009 | Reply

  2. I enjoyed reading about your wrestling with life on these different levels. Your questions reach beyond the simple and superficial and your answers are equally intriguing. Choice is certainly one key, but fear is never the sole (or soul) motivator … keep exploring!!

    Comment by purple | December 21, 2009 | Reply

  3. Please know that difficult experiences really help to give you clarity about what you really want. When u know what u don’t want, u more clearly know what you do want. And when you focus on what you really want and KNOW that the Universe can deliver, some of that fear will be released. The Universe can do it all for you like your own personal life manager- you don’t need to worry about the who or the what or the how. That is Source’s job – just know it will get done and look for things that make you feel good along the way. Even noticing something simple like a pet or a flower and really being appreciative, will shift your vibration into allowing quickly!

    Comment by Michele Beltran | December 22, 2009 | Reply

  4. Hi Flo! This is wonderful! I am very encouraged as I too open up my journey and embrace the process. I have done some documentation of my journey inside and facing the menace. I plan to share it and because of reading this it may be sooner than I “feared.” Of course I want to live in total confidence, belief and knowing that I am in integrity and integration NOW and there’s no better way to get feedback that playing with the outside self. I love the line “I can no longer tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined.” Yes, yes, yes. Awesome. I am so excited for you. Embrace it, love it, go into it and allow yourself to go out as well. When you go out play and have fun.

    Comment by James | December 22, 2009 | Reply

  5. 我们一起长条, 好吗?

    Comment by James | December 22, 2009 | Reply

  6. This is a very difficult topic for me as I realized that all the fear based decisions I’ve made in the past have lead me to live a less than authentic life. Michele, Purple, and James, I do believe this is a big one in life – once this one is taken care of, it will be easier to live a life of courage rooted in integrity. I’m looking forward to the heat and pressure. “Trust the darkness. Remain open and accepting during this period of incubation and once again new insights will work their way to the light.”

    Comment by Flo Li | December 22, 2009 | Reply

  7. Thank you Flo for having the courage to follow your journey. I can relate to waking up and feeling the fear before I open my eyes or am even fully awake! Your courage inspires me to face my demons for fear has run my life and I have lost 2 wonderful men and many opportunities out of fear. You are young and beautiful , I do not want to see that happen to you, ever. I am so glad you are taking the journey of courage! ❤

    Comment by Nicole | December 26, 2009 | Reply


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