Heart Opening Moments

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For Love or For Fear?

What do you stand for? Love or Fear?

A few months ago I had a short conversation with a friend who was going through a series of struggles but he was not willing to ask for help. He is one of the most brilliant, capable, and loving man I’ve ever met and I often admire how strongly he stands in the face of fear. This time around as he continues to progress on his spiritual journey with more difficult lessons to encounter, even he was caught up in a downward spiral of False Evidence Appearing Real. As I pointed out that in my experience fear resides in the third chakra right in my solar plexus, he quickly disagreed. He believed that fear should be in the base chakra because if one does not have survivals of food and money taken care of, fear is the by product. He honestly believed that fear would go away if his basic needs were met. I did not argue. Knowing that he is more than capable of making a decent living with all the talents he can share in his back pocket. I knew it was his own mind that was holding him back from sharing his gifts with the world. I sensed his outdated believe system needed a software upgrade in order to support his current operating system but it was up to him to make the choice. His argument of circumstances cause fear and not the other way around seemed logical yet it was not intuitive. Intuitively I can “see” that it is the seed of fear that was causing the outward appearance of circumstances. In my opinion, if it were not taken care of ASAP, fear can feed into external circumstances which encourages the growth of even more fear that will eventually end up in a downward spiral of negative emotions to produce further difficulties in circumstances.

Let’s talk about Fear and Love. Fear is often manifested in the forms of depression, frustration, loneliness, anxiety, worry, jealousy, envy, and anger. Love is expressed through courage, connection, inner peace, self-esteem, compassion, hope, and happiness. In her book Emotional Freedom, Judith Orloff, M.D. confronted us with the naked truth – if we don’t make it our business to overcome fear, we better believe it’ll try to overcome us. “Many people are subservient to this emotion, though they may not know it. What underscores fear in all its permutations is the feeling that you won’t be all right. Fear of aging…of rejection…” When we are living within fear, we tend to make “safer” choices because taking a chance means we won’t be all right. Consequently, these “safer” choices are often not the high integrity choices inlined with our highest truth and they are really not the safe choices after all! For example, let’s say I’ve met the most wonderful man and the amount of love he expresses makes me feel nervous. I feel unsafe in his high energy field because his love triggers my insecurities. Even though I want to connect with the high voltage energy field we share yet I don’t allow myself because I fear that I am not good enough to be with him. Therefore I pull away and seek a safer ground and hide my little self without making it too obvious. If he is at all in tune with my energy, he can sense the fact that I’m pulling away. This might cause him to question his worthiness if he is human enough to still harbor some insecurities. In the end, a beautiful potential for mutual growth through a high voltage relationship is suddenly given up because I allowed fear of “not being good enough” to control my life. Another example, when I’m feeling fearful and unworthy, I tend to block the flow of money, love, and energy into me. I would not charge for my services or offer ridiculously low discounts for clients and later find myself struggling to pay for my bills. This feeling also comes from the third chakra of where self-esteem resides. Money and security is connected to a sense of self-worth and self-confidence.

But how do we establish our sense of security and move through fear?

By tapping into our heart chakra. In the forth chakra my ability to love resides. Remember love is expressed through courage and courage is the antidote to fear. In the center of my chest I hold the positive emotions of love, joy, and inner peace. God strategically placed the center of love just above the solar plexus of fear. By rising our energy upward, we can transform the fear felt in the gut to courage experienced in the heart. Between the third and fourth chakras is where our spiritual power becomes manifested into our physical reality. This is a vital connection point. When this connection is blocked, no matter how spiritual we might be, our physical reality will still be painful. Only by connecting the physical and the spiritual, our lives can be truly sensational.

In A course in Miracles we have learned that the opposite of love is fear. Fear causes us to distort our vision and settle for less.  When we settle for less and not living to our highest potential, we rob the chance for others to experience the gifts we have to offer to the world. To be frankly confrontational, I have to tell you the truth–your insecurities is not only destructive to you, it is also destructive to the world. When you are not showing up as your greatest self, you are not being who you are meant to be and you are certainly not living your purpose. The reason you are here is because you are meant for greatness, to transform yourself, and through your transformation shine the light for those around you so they too can transform themselves. By being your bigger self and shine your own light, you can heal the world in unbelievable ways. So when you are busy indulging in your fear and hiding your light, you are not in integrity and not living your calling of true service.

The choice is yours. Do you live for Love or for Fear? In order to transform the core resonance of our planet you need to align yourself with the vibration of the highest truth. I urge you to live a life of divine service–feel the fear and love anyway.

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January 26, 2010 - Posted by | Inner Growth | , , , , , , , , , , , ,

9 Comments »

  1. Great post. Today, for example, I heard David Neagle say, “Your income is solely a function of your self-worth.” In my experience, fear is the single-most block to connecting with the self-worth that is and always has been inherent in us since birth. Fear and love CANNOT exist in the same place simultaneously. So, loving our fear into submission is one of the key ways to turn fear back into love and self-respect.

    Comment by Geoff Laughton | January 26, 2010 | Reply

    • Thank you Geoff, I’m honored to be commented by the relationship guru! I’m going to subscribe to your blog for sure – “if you’re really scared, it’s a sure sign you’re ready to grow exponentially.” AMEN! I have to make sure I don’t miss another chance to connect with that someone special due to my fear. http://geofflaughton.com/gltc/2010/01/getting-scared-to-life/

      Comment by Flo Li | January 26, 2010 | Reply

  2. Moving forward despite our fear is the only way to find our love of self, our truth, and freedom………It is so easy to fall back into our own fears which only lead us to a meaningless life full of negativity.
    Thanks for your post Flo.

    Comment by Tania Alcala | January 26, 2010 | Reply

  3. Processing…Ok, I get it, of course. Yet, I do not see much explained about how to move out of fear incrementally, meaning, while intertwined with other beings who represent differing levels of fear and love. Its one thing to say (grunt) fear bad, love good, ugh! Its another to mix it up in an energetic world with forms (some of which are all too focussed on competition, legal ease, and transactions) and let go of all fear without being irresponsible or negligent. Its one thing to line up your energy, move your vibrational essence out of fear third chakra and into love fourth chakra while in the closed area of you room. I see that is ideal to be centered in love before action. I guess I just wonder about moving out of fear being so clean and easy. I think there are probably risks that will manifest depending on the size and scope of what you are working on accomplishing. Nice to say just keep going and it always works out…and it does. Just not a bumper sticker issue depending on the circumstances. Haven;t heard about “loving your fear into submission” before, sounds like that is a possible path.

    Comment by James | January 27, 2010 | Reply

    • Good point James. Fear is needed to survive in this world indeed. You do not want to ignore fear – it would be irresponsible and negligent as you said. For those of us sensitive to energy, this is a tool to gauge if we are letting fear take control of our lives. This post is like a case study and a group of people might experience a similar issue yet not EVERYONE might suffer the same symptoms. There are several ways to harness fear and still be heart centered in love that we teach at Inner Success Blueprint. I do agree that it is incremental and a mindful daily or moment to moment practice – and I’m still working on it as early as I wake up each morning.

      Comment by Flo Li | January 27, 2010 | Reply

      • Hi Flo. The process of entering the conversation has moved me closer to an answer, so thanks. I am going to use a focus wheel to move “incrementally” and shift my vibration. It is powerful, easy, and you can shift dramatically in a manner of minutes. Picking a point of focus is a powerful practice.

        Comment by James | January 28, 2010 | Reply

  4. Hi Flo,

    What’s been going on? I had a huge shift this week. I WAS dealing with fear! Thanks for contributing to the shift and perturbating me 😉 I shifted from focussing on the false fear (the excuse) to the real fear and when I did I noticed I am capable, ready and it is going to be fun!(or something like that!). All the best in 2010. James

    Comment by James | February 6, 2010 | Reply

    • WOW JAMES!!! That is absolutely amazing. I am so happy for you – good work you strong talented loving man. I believe in you.

      Comment by Flo Li | February 6, 2010 | Reply

  5. Hi Flo

    Wow! I needed to read this……………..you are an inspiration to me. Sometimes it just takes one person to say something that turns a light on and it seems I have found an answer. Now I know what I need to do.

    Thank you!

    Comment by Darlene | February 16, 2010 | Reply


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