Heart Opening Moments

BLOG of a Spiritual Stripper

Hidden Heartbreak

Hidden Heartbreak

Hold On or Let Go? The consequence of a hidden heartbreak can dramatically alter the course of your life.

Have you ever gotten hurt on the road of love? Have you ever looked back and still feel yourself being captured by past emotions? Have you thought that you healed yet still feel tied down by your past experiences? Often times on the road of love, there were many hidden heartbreaks we had to endure from as early as our childhood. Most of times we don’t always fully recover instead we find ways to build thick walls around ourselves to keep love away so we no longer have to get hurt. Imagine if a wound so deep has not been fully disinfected while we keep on slapping bandaids to cover it up, eventually the wound will be deeper and cause even more difficulties in our lives.

Recently I encountered a story that profoundly demonstrated the consequences of life in hell due to an unhealed heartbreak. The type of life one could have lived versus the life one chooses to live can definitely become life in heaven or hell.

Dave and Alice moved in together after dating each other for more than 4 years. Dave purchased a car that would accommodate two kids and a puppy. Dave disliked his job. Secretly he disliked himself and thought love could fix everything. He wanted to marry Alice to live a normal American life. Perhaps once he’s settled down, he would be happy. But for now, no matter what he did, he could not find fulfillment in anything. Only moments at a time, he can immerse himself in snowboarding but most of times he struggles with his memory, his finances, and his orderliness. He lives a very strict life with rules and regulations of how things should be. He did not like the people who refused to follow his rules, including Alice. He made sure that she knew her place and the right and wrong ways of doing things.

Alice entertained the idea of becoming a wife and a mom. She felt as if she was settling for less and she told herself that perhaps this is how marriage is supposed to feel like. Alice loved Dave deeply yet she felt as if she was compromising too much of herself to stay in this relationship. She didn’t want this big investment of more than 4 years to fail so she worked very hard to make him happy and did everything to make things work. She cooked like the way his mother cooked. She went to the gym with him to help him bench press. She didn’t see her friends much so she can be with him. She cleaned their apartment and did their laundry. Sex became boring and submissive yet she never complained. She faked smiles to the outside world and told her family and his family that everything was fine. No matter what she did, she realized that she could not make Dave happy and for some reason she will never be good enough for him. She tried even harder. But somewhere in Alice’s subconscious mind she thought, “if this is the ultimate fate of a marriage, I never want to be a part of it.”

Finally after 5 years Alice and Dave broke up. They both cried as Dave moved out of their apartment while Alice helped him pack with tears. He couldn’t love anyone else if he couldn’t love himself he says… She did the best she could yet she still failed she says…

Alice moved on to a new town and lived a new life. She did everything she could to forget about Dave. She worked on healing her emotional wounds and did not date for several years. There were much psychological wounds to be healed on her own. She discovered that incidences from her childhood have contributed to the fact she never set boundaries to maintain who she is when she was with Dave. As she dug deeper, many aspects of herself surfaced that she never knew existed. Those are the aspects that she suppressed in the past. She realized just because Dave thinks something is wrong such as being joyfully expressive it does not mean it is wrong for her. As she began to discover what makes her tick, she found more and more about herself she never knew existed. Now with a new sense of freedom, Alice had consciously chosen a life filled with authenticity – no matter what others might think. She enjoys her new career as a pole dance instructor and the life that seemed so unbearable a few years ago slowly unfolded into such beautiful patterns of miraculous serendipity.

Dave started dating many different women and looked for ways to fulfill the emptiness he felt inside. He did not enjoy the failure of his relationship. And he just wasn’t happy. The pills doctors prescribed for depression took the edge off but he always felt gloomy no matter where he is.  He got a new job hoping not having to be around with difficult people any more but only found himself stuck with a new group of difficult people. They just don’t get him and they are too dumb to understand his logic. The only times he felt good about himself is when women fell in love with him. Dave’s tall muscular physique and his charming personality can get to any women he wanted. He took them home to his beach-front apartment and made them feel special. Within weeks he would always find that they are all flawed just like Alice. Even this new successful stunning model working on her science PhD who he is currently dating is too dump to understand his logic. She did not put the cereal box back the way he liked just like Alice. She let the water splash around the sink like Alice did. She certainly disrespected his property by putting her finger prints on the wall just like Alice had always done. There seems to be a conspiracy around him to attack and destroy him. Dave made a decision that he must breakup with his new arm-candy and move on again.

What happened? Somehow Alice moved on into a beautiful life she truly enjoys while Dave seemed to move around in circles to endure heartbreak after heartbreak.

This is the consequences of unhealed wounds. As you can see, Alice started to work on her inner transformation to create a truly extraordinary life. Whereas Dave tried to do everything he can possibly think of on the outside in hope to feel better within. We have all been on both sides. Sooner or later another Botox injection or a gorgeous new dress just won’t do the job anymore. In order to move forward in life, we must let go of the past. I hope this story will inspire you to look deeper into your own life and see which part of you needs attentive healing. Have the courage to find help and move on to live an extraordinary life. Isn’t it worth to you?

If you are interested to learn more about the tools to let go and move forward in your love life, come to our workshop Saturday Feb 27th, 2010 in San Diego. More support can be found here with free eBook and webinars.

Advertisements

February 19, 2010 - Posted by | Emotional Freedom, Inner Growth, Tears | , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Very nicely put together article. As a guy I sincerely enjoyed it.

    Comment by The Accidental Aikidoist | March 30, 2010 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: