Heart Opening Moments

BLOG of a Spiritual Stripper

Let the Story Write Itself

Enjoy Each Moment as It Comes

Enjoy Each Moment as It Comes

Lately as I’m becoming more and more aware, I have noticed how often I fought against the natural process instead of flowing along with it. I’ve always planned for life to happen a certain way. I worked with the Franklin Covey system to be on top of my game. I time managed every hour of the day. I felt guilty when I didn’t get all the things done on my list. Sometimes I even structured my blogs to be as linear as possible. Even for my love life, I made a list of the perfect man I wished to have in my life including his height, background, career, activities, spiritual practice, etc… Somehow the universe did bring what I asked for, but the exact outcomes never seemed to work out the way I’ve planned.

This morning as my boyfriend and I fed the ducks along the glistering lake, I felt so blessed to bath in nature with him by my side. It has been nearly three months now since our first date. And today he wanted to know if there’s a possibility of us in my ultimate future. It surprised me initially, because recently as I allowed myself to enjoy life’s unfoldment, I had stopped planning my moments. To have this incredible man ask me for more intimacy has certainly not been a part of my plan, somehow it just happened. As I watched each moment extend into the next moment, I no longer felt anxious or stressed. Somehow my life’s story started to write itself. I am happier and more peaceful than ever.

I couldn’t help but wonder what is this story called life anyway. Do I have control over how the story unfolds? Or has the story already been written and we are simply following each act one by one? Either way as I participate in my life story, do I chose to live through it embracing each moments or fight it as it comes? The intelligent thing to do is to “relax” for sure. Sadhguru talks about how if this moment is what you want, you are happy, isn’t it? So instead of asking the universe to fit your agenda, why not be happy for the moments life hands to you? And instead of trying to play a game of cheese with life and manipulate the outcome of your life story, wouldn’t it be more fun if you allowed yourself to flowed with the universe and allow your story to write itself?

Hmmmm, I wonder where I will go next. There are always wonderful prizes no matter which path comes up next as long as we remain in awe of the unfoldment process. Life is full of lessons for the heart – have the courage to embrace your moments with the love within your heart – you shall be blessed.

March 28, 2010 Posted by | Inner Growth | , , , , | 4 Comments

Together We Are Stronger

Aikido Wrist lock

Does your partnership make you stronger?

Lately I can’t help to notice the subtle dynamics in various relationships. Sometimes being with another person adds to our energy and enthusiasm and other times being with another takes away our mojo. Do you have someone in your life that contributes to your wellbeing and another drains the life energy out of you? Have you ever wondered why that is?

This is something I’ve been dealing with for a while now. I didn’t fully grok the impact until a recent aikido class.

My partner and I were working together on a movement that could become completely powerful without a single ounce of aggression. His body was stiff and not easy to connect with. His stiffness felt like an energetic wall that blocked me from harmonizing with his energy. I quickly took offense to that and wanted to put up a fight. I noticed the momentary aggression in my body and decided to act differently. Instead of fighting against him, I worked with the direction of his energy along his stiffness. Within a split second, I took his centerline by softening up my touch and he was down on the ground in no time. What happened was that I decided to let go my ego’s instinct of wanting to put up a fight. I had to see him in a whole new light – he is my brother and not a threat to me. His stiffness comes from years of fear stored within the body. His inability to relax is no fault of his own but a trained habit. In order for me to connect with him, I cannot judge him for his stiffness nor fault him for it. I must accept where he is, maintain my center, and melt myself around it in order to redirect it. The surprising part was he and I both felt connected and we laughed how powerful the move was. There was no resentment. He did not feel as if I did something to his body. Instead, he felt as if we harmonized to work together and achieved a mutually desired outcome.

Another partner behaved differently. Her grip was soft and barely there. I became frustrated by her unwillingness to assert herself. I couldn’t feel her so how would I be able to work with her? So I adjusted myself to be even softer and that back fired. This reminded me of being in a relationship with a man who always catered to me and my needs. He came over whenever I called. He canceled appointments just so he can be with me. He even came over and washed my dirty dishes. Soon enough I no longer felt the same way about him because he was no longer who he is. He became whatever he thinks I need him to be.  In turn I felt guilty how nice he was to me and I adjusted myself to cater to him. I cooked the food he likes. I put on a few pounds to add the the curves he desires. I helped him with his work and stopped working on my projects. I attempted to even out the relationship and all I felt was resentment. He adjusted for me and I adjusted for him. Both of us lost our own centers in the name of our relationship. I no longer felt our partnership strengthened the both of us, instead our combined energy was less than we were on our own.

What’s different between the two cases? In the first case, I had to accept where my partner is, let go my ego, and work with his energy. I must be softer than stiffness to harmonize. In the second case, I became even softer but gave up my own integrity. Being too soft made me lose myself in that relationship. I’ve noticed that I adjust myself in my relationships quite a bit. Often times I don’t tell the truth because I am scared of hurting someone else’s feelings. Other times I back away from my truth in order to give someone else more space. I find whenever I become too passive and not asserting my truth, I become weaker in the process. Any relationship that is build on mutual sacrifice does not work in the long run. A healthy relationship is supposed to make us stronger and not weaker. Only by asserting ourselves we then find the mutual balance point where both of our strengths meet. That is the point of power – where one plus one equals infinity.

Ask yourselves is your relationship making you stronger as a person? Is your relationship adding more grace to your life? If not, it is time to self-exam to see if you are sacrificing too much of who you are. It is never too late to make adjustments and gain back your center. Only from a centered and self-empowered place we can then chose wisely going forward. It’s time to allow our partnerships to make us stronger!

March 15, 2010 Posted by | Aikido Wisdom | , , , , | 8 Comments