Heart Opening Moments

BLOG of a Spiritual Stripper

The Moment of Awakening

Elusive Dreams

life is but a series of elusive dreams… isn’t it time to wake up?

People walking around wearing masks hiding their soul. Believing the masks are their true face. Thirsty for a deep well that can satisfy their yearning. Secretly hoping to fly free…

Each day she wakes up in the morning thought she had woken up from a dream yet not knowing that she still lives within another. She walks up to the mirror to put makeup on her mask. Finds the right shade of rose to paint the lips. Picks up the outfit that presents the day. Floating with thoughts and emotions, she questions if she were her mind alone. Looking out the window, she wonders if everyone else was pretending to be somebody too. “Someday I feel like I’m acting in a dream,” she says, “knowing my superficial layers must appear surreal.”

One day as she drives in her car and feels a complete sense of Oneness. She is the One. She is everything and nothing at that same instant. There is no different between her, the car, the road, the trees, the birds and the sun. She is completely a part of all that is. Amazed, she looks down at her own hands and smiles like she never seen these hands before. She inhales and finds fullness in all that vast space. “Oh there, a thought!” Yet how insignificantly it passes like a snail on the path of a garden. “I am not the body, nor the mind!” The experience is unmistakably true – PURE essence – without the contamination of believing every passing thought. Just light, just being, just spirit. “That is what I am.”

“What a dream it has been! Nearly 100% of life was just an illusion – lived in an endless loop of thoughts, beliefs and derived emotions – repeating itself in a wheel of karma. False beliefs tying us down. Wake up a little friends! WAKE UP! Come and dance to a new song as Gods! We’ve been asleep for too long!”

She exhales. And sees the masks floating away. She smiles. And notices the smile of a Buddha. She looks within. And sees the whole universe throbbing within her. “This is it! This is the moment of awakening.”

~ ♥ ~

“I suddenly realized I was as much the sound as the bird as the one hearing the bird, that the hearing and sound and the bird were all manifestations of one thing. I cannot say what that one thing is… I opened my eyes, and I found the same thing was happening in the room – the wall and the one seeing the wall were the same thing… At that moment, consciousness–spirit–realized it had been so identified with all these forms that it really thought it was a form right up to this lifetime.” – Adyashanti, from the book Emptiness Dancing

~ ♥ ~

Cast off the tattered robes that stain your soul! Open yourself to Heaven’s dictates and shine brightly! – Morihei Ueshiba, from the book The Essence of Aikido

~ ♥ ~

If you hear the word “Buddha,” you may think in terms of Gautama the Buddha. But Gautama is not the only Buddha; that was not his second name. His name was Gautama Siddhartha, and he became a Buddha. Buddhi means “intellect,” or the logical dimension of your mind. Dha means “one who is above.” So, one who is above his mind is a “Buddha.” – Sadhguru, from The Huffington Post

May 11, 2012 Posted by | Death & Rebirth, Self Realization | , , , , , | 5 Comments

A Second Chance in Life

love sunset heart

When was the last time you were truly intimate with life? When your inner experience of life becomes beautiful, life becomes beautiful.

What would you do if life gave you a second chance?

I got a second chance in life after a cycling crash that nearly took my life exactly six years ago. As I was laying on my death-bed, I couldn’t stop thinking how I have been asleep through life all these years.

Back then, I worked very hard intellectually. My life looked wonderful externally but internally I was slowly dying. I was able to think but unable to feel. I lived life through calculated strategies instead of heart-based compassion. I didn’t care enough to slow down, I plowed through everyone and everything. That cycling crash during my half-ironman race was probably the necessary call to finally wake me up.

Here is a journey entry I wish to share with you during moments of awakening…

May 13th, 2006

 I haven’t had any food for more than a week now.  I took a quick look at my naked body in the mirror as mom helped me to get to the toilet.  I was thin when I trained for the tri – at 5 feet 4 inches and weighed a healthy 124 pounds.  Now my body looked sickly with my breasts empty, arms weak, and tummy caved in. I could barely recognize this deformed stranger in the mirror.  The swollen head, the puss filled bloody cheeks, the missing eye brow, the uncovered popping eye-ball, the endless black stitches covering my face, the inside out lips… I silently wished that someday I will be able to take a shower again and someday I will be able to wear clothes again…

The good news is I’m able to walk a few steps now.  I can get from the bathroom to the bed with mom’s help and I am even proud of each step I took.  I have been using the left side of my body mostly because the wound on the right side of my lower extremities.  It works!

In the past, I never appreciated the simple gesture of sitting on a toilet.  Now since I need another’s help to even find the edge of the seat while placing my painfully wounded bottom on the seat, I finally began to realize how much I have taken for granted in the past. 

I never truly appreciated the simple things in life.  Such as being able to speak, to walk, to see, to eat, to sit down, to use my arms, to smile, and to hug…  As I was lying back down on my bed, I felt my tears rushing down into the pillow.  I thought with the 40 stitches in my mouth, I might never be able to feel a kiss again…  The thought devastated me.  I wish I had opened my heart and experienced love courageously.  I wish I treasured every step I took.  I wish I enjoyed every smile I gave.  I wish I savored every hug I received.  Now the chance of being able to do all these simple things seemed so far away…


Today is May 7th, 2012. I gave a long sincere hug to a friend’s father this morning. I embraced the cool sea breeze caressing my face. I felt the warm sand between my toes. I smiled at a stranger and he gave a smile to someone else.

Today, I am alive.

May 7, 2012 Posted by | Death & Rebirth, love | , , , | 6 Comments