Heart Opening Moments

BLOG of a Spiritual Stripper

Running Away?

Are You”Running Away from Home”? Are you avoiding uncomfortable situations to stay safe? If you want enlightenment then stop running! (Photo by Laura Corebello)

Have you ever noticed we often want to hide or run away from uncomfortable situations? We often think if we can just avoid pain, disappointments, embarrassments then our lives will be much better and more carefree. We think “if I can just get out of HERE then I will be much happier!”

This reminds me of the times I plotted my escape as a child – believing that by running away from home all of my disappointments and heartbreaking misunderstandings will be resolved. Like this child, I packed up some of my favorite things in a small sack, found a bamboo stick and there I was on my way to a better world. I had imagined perhaps an alien spaceship will come by to pick me up and find me valuable for space exploration. Or better yet a nicer family will pick me up so I could show my parents what terrible mistakes they’ve made by misunderstanding my love. Now looking back we could see how innocent yet reactive it all really was.

As we mature into adulthood our childish tendencies are still deeply ingrained in our bodies. Much of these tendencies to run away have gone unnoticed in our everyday lives before we embarked upon our spiritual journey. Now we can sense someone else wanting to pull away from a hug. Other times we find ourselves running away from a needed confrontation instead we hide behind the computer screen.Sometimes we also become better at denying these tendencies or we make excuses for our behaviors. Sooner or later we find our relationships less attentive as we become more and more isolated.

It does not serve you to run away. Period.

If we are running away from ANYTHING in life, we are running away from life itself. The truth is, when we run away from any situation, we have already given up. We just forfeited the opportunity to even give it a try, to see how we might react, and see what illusions we are still holding onto. Running away = cowardly living = not living at all. To truly live is to live with courage. It takes courage to engage every moment, every breath, every person fully and completely. The tendency is to contract, hide, or run away from the HERE and NOW. That’s ok. Just notice it. It’s perfectly normal to have these tendencies. Just be with the fear and see it for what it is. Yet at the same time we can take another step closer to freedom – and see the fear for what it is NOT.

Many people say “I want enlightenment” but are still using their work or meditations to escape from their lives. Many are not willing to courageously face each moment as it unfolds. When you look into their eyes they are not present. Their body/mind/spirit have contracted to such a level that the life force is having to squeeze through a breath. Sooner or later suffering will occur. When you say “I want to be enlightened, I want to awaken” is to say “I want to live” and “I don’t care how painful or joyful my moments might become, I am willing to see through all of my illusions and become intimate with all spectrums of life.”

The tendencies to escape might still be present every once in a while even after awakening. Luckily after awakening there’s no more judgement. So when the ego tries to reinsert itself into your being-ness, just bring awareness to the present moment outside of the construct of the mind. Always choose communion with the Truth. The key is to notice these tendencies and say “oh, that’s what it is!” This way, by bringing awareness to the the present moment and became fully engaged, the uncomfortableness somehow dissolves itself.

Today I’m working with a injured shoulder and much physical pain. Yet it is becoming more and more clear that even the painful moments are designed to deliver Love. Allow yourself the space to see each moment with clear eyes, with compassion and openness for transformation. Be here. NOW.

August 19, 2012 - Posted by | Death & Rebirth, Emotional Freedom, Inner Growth, love, Self Realization | , , , , , , , ,


  1. What if running away is the only way to escape a bad situation? Children will either defend themselves physically and/or run from a bad situation. That primal-ness is innate and isn’t bad per-se, just as adults we learn to be cool with it and like you said we learn to do the appropriate action.

    I see how running away can be running away from life – which is true, but those rare situations where things really go south, running should be on the table.

    Comment by Drew | August 19, 2012 | Reply

    • I totally concur. We teach the kids to walk away from a bully in aikido without provoking a fight in such situations. At this stage of my freestyle training I do not have the option to run away any more! lol

      Comment by Flo Li | August 19, 2012 | Reply

  2. thank you Flo for pointing this out so gently and lovingly. This reminder is exactly what I need at the moment. Great timing!!

    Comment by tai | August 19, 2012 | Reply

  3. Thank you for writing this article, Flo! It is all about being responsible for everything in your life. It’s how you choose to react to what life hands you. We can’t control the world, but we can control our reactions to it.

    In the other way, are you saying “YES” or “NO” to the Universe? Which one do you choose?

    “Say yes” means “to agree to” those things that life hands us. Saying yes means letting go of resistance and letting in the possibilities that our universe offers in a new ways of seeing the world. It means to relax bodily and calmly survey the situation, thereby reducing upset and anxiety.

    “Say no” is like saying this phrase, “How could this happen to me!” Saying no means to block, to fight, to resist opportunities for growth and challenge. Saying no creates tension, exhaustion, wasted expenditure of energy, emotional upheaval or worse, it creates apathy. It’s like saying, “I can’t cope. I can’t go on. There is no hope.”

    It’s about accepting the fact that pain is a part of life. It’s about how you choose to react to that pain or anything that life hands you. You can choose that you can handle the pain as well as the situation causing the pain. You can choose to acknowledge your pain. Otherwise, you choose to go down the easy path of denying your pain, pretending that it’s nothing and go on with your life with that deep pain still hanging in your background.

    So, let’s get up and act on the belief that we can create meaning and purpose in whatever life hands us or the pain that you are dealing with.

    By the way, Flo, thank you so much for the wonderful book, “Feel the Fear… and do it anyway!” It’s a great book that has made a difference for my perception of my own life…

    Comment by Brian K | August 20, 2012 | Reply

    • Brian, it is such a pleasure to see your courage and your transformation. There’s so much waiting for you in life. Don’t ever stop! Keep on going and go for the life that is truly yours to live. Looking forward to the blossoming of your spirit!

      With all of my love,

      Comment by Flo Li | August 21, 2012 | Reply

  4. Running away, I don’t believe that is the true spirit of your writing, “Running away is nothing more than to choice to fight into another direction”. Most often people misunderstand the idea of walking away from something makes you a coward or less of a person. Smart people learn to hedge their bets on the right place at the right time. There is nothing to be shamed of when you make that decision to be where you want to be and when you want to be there at that given moment.

    Comment by John Gormally, MBA | August 22, 2012 | Reply

    • I like the word “hedge” – smart investment in where you put your energy. Sometimes walking away is the most courageous thing to do. Sometimes cowardly is choose to fight even when it is a bad investment just so the ego can feel good about itself. John I think we had this conversation about how you coach people to be a good sales person – don’t give up. It is very courageous to do what you, day after day, never quit and never hide. I admire your courage.

      Comment by Flo Li | August 24, 2012 | Reply

      • To run away or stay leaves one in the same space even if the external circumstances may change. I have spent my life thinking there was a solution, a fix, but what I didn’t notice was it was me judging the situation that made me think my options were to either run away or stay. How rooted in truth was I when making my choice? How capable is the child to see the circumstance before they react by running away or not? Over and over again we assume a capability to see the circumstance accurately, when we simply are unlikely to. The ability to properly assess the circumstance, and consequently, to make a good decision concerning it is the assumption of everyone’s reality. And yet, we can see how poorly people make choices all the time. After so many failed attempts at fixing, believing I was not compromising, I am just beginning to see there may be a better answer. I think it has to be found in the immediate here and now… My idea is that without judgement or denial, to first choose peace in oneself as a real experience before choosing change. To embrace love in the circumstance before doing anything. To move oneself into a state of invulnerable fearlessness and open-heartedness before making any choices. If any “choices” still remain valid in that state, I imagine they will be good ones.

        Comment by Eric | August 28, 2012 | Reply

        • beautifully said. ♥

          Comment by Flo Li | August 28, 2012 | Reply

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