Heart Opening Moments

BLOG of a Spiritual Stripper

I am Not Here to Comfort You

Shocking! Good! I love you – but I am here NOT to comfort you – I am here to awaken you.

You can call me a mean person, you can call me insensitive, you can tell me that I hurt your feelings, but I refuse to give solace to your ego, your persona, and your self-imposed limitations. I stand for the larger you.

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Birth of Veracity – Showed in Generic Gallery San Diego Exhibition Titled “Microscopic Expressions” and Xi’an Academy of Fine Arts China Exhibition Titled “Harmony in Duality”

Several years ago the name for one of my internationally showcased fractal art pieces arose in me, which I called “The Birth of Veracity”. The name came during a philosophy class. We had just studied the time when Jesus developed an inability to express any lies in his life – that’s when I found myself tearing up, knowing that this was the direction my soul was pulling me. That night, I brought the “Birth of Veracity” into the world.

Veracity: (from Old French veracitie; from Medieval Latin vērācitās  – “truthfulness”; from Latin vērāx – “truthful, speaking truth”; from vērus – “true, real”.)

Today, I am just beginning to understand the truth behind “Veracity”.

In the past, I’ve been the nice girl, the sweetheart, the loyal friend. Then after my series of awakening experiences, I became more and more unable to be that “good friend”, the patient listener, the tireless helper. I acted in such a manner that was no longer consistent with my conditioned programmed persona – the old ways my mask lead my life was no longer true. My mask was deteriorating. And neither I, nor my parents and friends, was familiar with the new me. From my earlier blogs, you probably remember that I would  get physically ill when I even told white lies. So I followed the energy of the truth meter.

Needless to say, the new me behaved in ways that created discomfort to those in my presence. I stopped being a life coach, because giving solace to individuals who were clearly on the verge of uncomfortable transformative growth, was clearly a disservice. I knew from personal experience that turmoil and pain were the building blocks that gave fire to my death and arising. Sometimes to truly help someone is to trigger them so they can finally look into the true source of their pain. Of course that does not make me the most popular – I’ve been unfriended on Facebook and in life, I’ve been called all sorts of names, but every once in a while, there are a few who decide to stay around.

A high school friend came to spend the weekend with me. She came from a long Indian tradition of spiritual teachers called gurus. I was not gentle with her. I gave her a warm bed and comforting soups, but the way I spoke to her did not give her comfort. Weeks later, she sent me a payment for our casual weekend together she called guru puja. She included a note – “Guru means the one that dispels your darkness not because one desires to be your spiritual teacher, one dispels the ignorant darkness because one has the necessary light within. Thank you for being that light for me through your extraordinary circumstance and the learning you received, I must follow that light to the truth no matter how uncomfortable it gets for me. I hope you will receive this puja offering as a token of my love.”

If you are looking for a “friend” who will comfort you, agree with you, do what you want, listen to your insecurities, and tell you that you are right, I am not that “friend”. If you are looking for an energy expressed within any person that will challenge you, hurt your feelings, bring up your insecurities, threaten your limitations, and destroy the way you are today – so you can become the way the creator intended you to be – then I am forever tirelessly, selflessly in your service. I am not your “friend”, I am your servant of truth – I will light a candle in you so you can find your own veracity.

About Art by Flo please visit the interview with WebMetropolis.org 

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April 25, 2017 Posted by | Self Realization | Leave a comment

Finding Inner Balance

Inner peace comes from inner and outer balance, a state of being natural, open, with no judgement, and without attachment. One of the reasons I study aikido is to be able to spot my own “errors” as well as help others spot the same.

What I call an “error” is when our own perception becomes clouded by the needs of our ego. Events and external happenings are neutral until our ego places a value-judgement on them. We get fearful, we get angry, we get sad, we get aggressive as we tell ourselves a story we made up about what is actually happening – AND we want to get even! The ego becomes obsessed on fixing the external world while completely ignoring the self – hence we give up our own physical/emotional/psychological/spiritual wellbeing by giving up our inner peace. The ego believes we must FIGHT for what we believe in, we must DO something to make a difference, we must STRIVE to be noticed. And that someone else must be “BLAMED” for the circumstances, and we must “PUSH” to make things happen.

The study of aikido along with my Isha Yoga meditation has allowed me to be sensitive enough and honest enough to notice my own “errors” before my ego leads me astray. The words – “FIGHT”, “DO”, “STRIVE”, “BLAME”, “PUSH” can give you a sense of the feelings they illicit in your body. Do they have a balancing effect or unbalancing effect? We can be the scientist and try the different feelings on for effect – do they bring peace in our bodies OR do they make us top heavy so we can be tipped over easily? Now the real question comes next, “can I truly trust my own perception and actions when I’m off balance?” and “can I trust another person and his/her decisions at the time when he/she is off balance?”

Small children are naturally very perceptive. Whenever I am off balance internally while trying hard to keep my body balanced, they know, and they act out. They don’t listen, and they become loud and disruptive. However when I am naturally open, happy, and balanced, they all work together naturally in a loving and caring manner.

The real work begins after a spiritual awakening. This is when we can actually be non-judgementally honest with ourselves. My daily Zen practice is to watch whenever I am unenlightening myself. Enlightenment is not a haphazard deal, it is up to us to notice when we give up our own inner balance hence giving up Enlightenment. Personally, I have to be vigilant to keep an eye on my actions and micro-decisions so my ego doesn’t run the show. I have no control over other people and external events – but I do have a choice of what I align myself with. It is up to each of us to choose to either 1. bring emotional pollution to the world that can create war, or 2. bring a scent of sweetness and love to the world that can heal all wounds. The choice is ours.

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April 11, 2017 Posted by | Self Realization | Leave a comment