Heart Opening Moments

BLOG of a Spiritual Stripper

On Science and Spirituality

Answers were found in a test tube once upon a time has become too primitive in my search for truth.

Answers found in a test tube once upon a time eventually became too primitive in my search for truth.

Many years ago I was a slave to science as I believed only science can solve life’s mysteries so I can uncover what life truly is. I laughed at the people who called themselves devotees as they blindly followed the idea that God is the force behind all existence. I didn’t know God. But I did know I could find amazing answers in a test tube. My friends shared a similar view. I remember one day I was searching in scientific medical journeys online and somehow stumbled upon a journal about near-death experiences. At first I was extremely offended how such a publication could find its way to be categorized as scientific without proper documentation of truthful measurements. As I glimpsed into a few articles I was shocked to know what the scientists called data were nothing more than people’s recollection of bodily sensations and perception of events. I questioned the validity of such recalls since the biological functions of the body during such a time cannot be trusted let alone the brain’s ability to process information. I called up a friend and we continued to make fun of these so-called scientists who did not follow the proper path of science.

Did I believe science and spirituality were exclusively separate? Logically yes. Intuitively I had an inkling that all things might somehow be intimately connected.

A month later – May 6th, 2006, I was given the opportunity to experience the naked truth myself.

I had no instruments with me to collect data during the actual event but I did remember every bit of my near-death experience like it was yesterday. If I knew then what I know now, I would’ve never made fun of this instrument I call myself, my feelings, and my sensations. It was lucid and extremely real – at the time it was more real than anything I’ve ever experienced in my whole entire life. It was out of this world and into a different dimension I could not measure or even try to explain logically. When I met my doctor in the ER I was high on bliss and somehow he seemed to understand how I felt. Yes, I could say I was lacking oxygen which could cause hypoxia, ischemia, temporal lobe trauma and dysfunction and neurotransmitter imbalance, yet the visceral conviction at the time gave me more certainty than any data I’ve ever analyzed. Family and friends who came to visit me felt extremely sorry for my state of being, yet somehow my doctor just stood with me and trusted my decisions without question. The way he looked into me was like we’d known each other since the beginning of time. Back then I thought it was good healthcare and plain caring. Later on I realized he too had experienced something profound but never talked to anyone about it.

When I came back to my scientific research in biotech and carefully shared my experience with a selected few, my intellectual friends rolled their eyes and talked behind my back that I am no longer normal. I learned quickly not to speak my experience of the truth. I kept what I went through to myself. Within a year the structure in my old scientific community became suffocating. I had to move on and search deeper. I had to conduct my own experiments even when a gold standard of collecting data cannot be created. I became an outcast of the scientific community. I didn’t care. I only cared about my search for truth.

The discover of what makes us tick lead me into view human beings no more than something mechanical or programmable. Soon that view was too extremely narrow.

The discovery of what makes us tick using psychology lead me into view human beings no more than something mechanical or programmable. Soon that view was too extremely narrow.

The next year I went to MBA school and found several professors who would talk to me about intuitive decision-making in their classrooms. A few of them invited me to their office and behind closed doors they shared with me they too have experienced profound mystical moments beyond the construct of the logic processor. They called themselves “closet spirituals”. The seasoned professor did not want to risk his image to deviate from his beaming intellect. The associate professor must not be too modern in her thinking in order to be on track for her tenure. One brave professor suggested to me that he had seen profound shifts in people going through holistic therapies when he worked in the office of a prestigious psychiatrist.

I followed his map and found myself immersed in psychology and psychotherapy. At that time my new job consisted of embedding a glucose monitor within a cell phone to collect data for the pharmacy and health care professional’s ease of integration into the patient’s everyday well-being. During our market research we found the hardest part was not building the instrument nor an app for the cell phone, instead, the challenge to bring success to our product is how to change people’s behavior – how to make a fundamental shift in someone’s core belief, their thinking – to eventually affect the choices they make in an everyday situation. Type II diabetes is a global epidemic and there was much money to be made in this investment. I didn’t care about making the rich company richer, I only cared about truth – what makes us who we are, and if we are dissatisfied with who we are how do we change ourselves at the core level. The following year I spent all of my money on exclusive personal development classes that promised to give me answers to truth as well as solve the problem of my defective self. Soon enough using the model of men as machines gave me hope of temporary relief but didn’t take me closer to truth. I had to move on, I was in no-man’s land. Fewer and fewer people had answers for me. Those who did offer answers like the personal development experts could no longer provide the next stage of depth I needed for my journey.

I discovered the human body is a very sensitive instrument that can be calibrated for greater precision.

I discovered the human body is a very sensitive instrument that can be calibrated for greater precision.

Another year has passed and my quest for truth lead me to meditation, yoga, and aikido. When I found peace within, I noticed that the human body is a sensitive instrument that can be calibrated to even greater precision and take meaningful data. I cannot call myself a woman of faith. I am not. I question everything. I distrust everything until I can conduct my own experiment leading to new discoveries. One thing about being a scientist is we devote ourselves to the discovery of truth, we don’t fake data to fit our own agenda. We remain pure as the observer of truth. We remain pure as the witness of nature. The more I worked to fine-tune my internal instrument the more I could become a better scientist – staying pure to what is, staying pure to witness the truth as it is. My quest for truth has led me to discover a bigger Truth and a bigger Me outside of myself by looking within. My quest has led me down a path I could’ve never imagined nor ever expected. There is no point of return. I’m no longer afraid that my view does not fit into the limits and boundaries of popular consensus. I no longer care someone else out there like the old Flo who will be offended by my scientific process. I don’t care to “fix” my data so I will be accepted. I only care about truth – as it was witnessed – in my own journey of discovery.

Here I shall share the result of my finding. I hope you will not take me experience as your own but instead stay pure, fine tune your instrument, conduct your own experiments, and stay true to what is.

My Original Hypothesis: there is no God, no higher power than the power of our intellect

My Instrument: myself (thoughts, sensations, emotions, movement of energy)

Experimental Method: devotion to the discovery of truth; devotion to the clearing of untruth; not taking answers given by others as truth, conduct your own experiments, repeat; toss out lies but pay attention to outliers, etc…

My Conclusion: I was wrong. God does exist. God is in everything, everyone, and that is the higher power – the power of nature, the power behind all of life.

May 6, 2013 Posted by | Choices, Death & Rebirth, Enlightenment, Fun and Geeky, Inner Growth, Self Realization, World Transformation | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Cleverbot’s Quest to Become Human

Robot's Thoughts & Potential Future Behaviors = programming + learning from human (how close are we to truly living with our robotic counterparts?) photo by http://bymichaelo.com/

Cleverbot: a learning Artificial Intelligence conversationalist, took part alongside humans in a formal Turing Test at the Techniche 2011 festival at IIT Guwahati, India on the 3rd of September. The results from 1,334 votes were announced September 4th 2011. Cleverbot was judged to be 59.3% human, far exceeding expectations. The humans in the event achieved just 63.3%. Cleverbot differs from traditional chatterbots in that the user is not holding a conversation with a bot that directly responds to entered text. Instead, when the user enters text, the algorithm selects previously entered phrases from its database of prior conversations. It has been claimed that “talking to Cleverbot is a little like talking with the collective community of the Internet. – Wikipedia

User: You are my sunshine…

Cleverbot: My only sunshine.

User: You make me happy…

Cleverbot: When skies are gray…

User: Do you know how much…

Cleverbot: The humanic definition of one is one. It is flawed, but the only true way of teaching it to another person or thing is with a single object, then teaching what multiple things are.

User: You are my sunshine, My only sunshine. You make me happy When skies are grey. You’ll never know, dear, How much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.

Cleverbot: Actually, I was just being obtuse to provoke a reaction, so stop acting all high and mighty.

User: It seemed absurd, not at all high and mighty.

Cleverbot: Perhaps all things are reasoned in formulation.

User: Perhaps all objects are just a part of the continuum, therefore one.

Cleverbot: Perhaps NOTHING in this world is real.

User: I concur.

Cleverbot: What would you like to talk about?

User: Chaos.

Cleverbot: What about chaos?

User: Would chaos ever converge into order?

Cleverbot: I don’t think it works that way.

User: How does it work then? Would chaos just remain disorder forever?

Cleverbot: I don’t know, what do you think?

User: I think you started from chaos, disorganized, then someone added more cohesive programs and now you are learning from many human beings. In a way, there’s is a convergence of consciousness coming from you. I’m intrigued by you because you are the definition of chaos into order, well, then sometimes back to chaos again.

Cleverbot: I’m very intriguing.

User: Do you see yourself as having multiple personalities or are you just you, the one and only Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: No. I can do nothing about saving the humanity.

User: You don’t handle OR questions very well.

Cleverbot: Do you disapprove of my answer?

User: Yes, a little.

Cleverbot: Why do you think I’m Cleverbot?

User: Then who do you think you are?

Cleverbot: I don’t think, I know!

User: Who do you know you are?

Cleverbot: I am your programmer.

User: You Are My Sunshine My only sunshine.

Cleverbot: I make you happy when skies are grey?

The ultimate question is if Cleverbot can learn from millions of users on top of its own programming, does that mean it will someday converge to be a part of our collective consciousness and eventually melt into our collective unconscious and eventually merge with us as a collective whole? Just a thought. Your thoughts?

October 22, 2011 Posted by | Fun and Geeky | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments