Heart Opening Moments

BLOG of a Spiritual Stripper

Divorce the Mind, Marry the Heart

Don’t be a storehouse of memories.

Leave past, future and even present thoughts aside.

Be a witness to the life unfolding by itself.

– Mooji

Words are melting aways in recent times.

Where keeping track of time, dates; analyzing what is happening become too daunting.

This life transforms into one homogenous soup of Love unfolding.

Too beautiful for words.

Too transcendental for understanding.

Life Unfolding is ALWAYS unassisted by your personal self.

Be free of all attachments, fears and concerns by keeping your mind inside your own heart.

Rest in being.

Like this, life is always fresh and imbued with pure joy and timeless presence.

– Mooji

The mind fixates and grabs on to what did happen and tries to predict what will happen as if life depends on attachments, reactions, and projections.

It is always looking for an answer, asking questions of the past, future; and tossing rocks into the perfectly harmonious unfolding river of life.

It is old, wrinkled, and stale.

The heart floats in emptiness – absent of chattering – as the fulfilled emptiness.

It is never in the wrong place.

It is beyond time and space.

It doesn’t ask questions, but flows with the moment with every breath.

It is forever young, fresh, and timeless.

I’ve divorced the mind and married the heart.

Now the mind is tamed, inside the heart, melting into Eternal Love…

July 14, 2021 Posted by | Self Realization | 2 Comments

Your Light

Don’t Cover Your Light

Dear Beloved, don’t be shy to share your light. For you are made of stardust – the very essence of God.

Dear Beloved, don’t cover up your scars. In them live the shimmering beauty carved in every soul.

Dear Beloved, don’t be concerned with stature. For that devoid of genuine substance only illusory in nature.

For I, can only love you for you. Not your covering, not your wage, not your dwelling, nor your pretense.

A charade of the strayed path is no concern of mine.

For I can only love you for you. For your inner beauty, for your kind heart, for your pure spirit, for your loving light.

October 10, 2020 Posted by | Self Realization | Leave a comment

My Childhood Friend

My best friend was the boy next door. He was two years older than the three year old me when we first met. He taught me to draw on white walls, climb up trees, and read tiny little philosophy books. We lived in our own world and had our own language just through our glances. His family introduced me to black coffee, steak tartare and sushi while my parents could barely afford enough rice.

I’ve always loved him.

Years later when I moved to the United States I had forgotten about him. In my 30s I went to visit my hometown and ran into his dad. With deteriorating eyes, the old professor was still able to spot me at a distance. He put his arm around me as we walked and told me that I was the daughter-in-law he wished he had. He then waved to his new wife to greet us. I remember her well, and I remember wondering how at 20 years younger she became his third wife. She was well known in the community as the loud-mouth, and whenever she was speaking, I felt as if she were screaming angrily yet with joyful excitement. Such contradictions, that creature.   

They invited me for tea in their home. She then showed me photos of her soon to be daughter-in-law and protested the upcoming union.

“She is just pretty, white skin and long black hair. But there’s nothing inside!” The third wife screamed at me, waving the photos. “When she comes over to stay with us her long black hair sheds everywhere – on the floor, clogging up my shower, and it even lands in our sacred art studio!”

I looked down, into my teacup, and noticed the floating leaves. Fresh, light, and fragrant. I didn’t say anything.

“We saw your art exhibition! It’s interesting how your style is completely unrelated to your exposure at this Art Institute you grew up in! Forgetting your roots. Must be all that Western influence you received. Still, we wish you were our daughter-in-law!” She noticed my quietness against her own intensity, “I see your Chinese communication is subpar. Anyway, I know the press is coming tomorrow with TV stations and newspaper reporters so I’ve asked my son to prepare you for the interviews. He’s coming to pick you up.”


My heart was pounding…

I haven’t seen him since I was 12 and I have scars he has never seen. I would rather go on – never having him see me – for the rest of my life.

I’ve aged. I’ve gotten damaged. I’ve never found a deep personal love who was willing to marry me. I’m what the Chinese people call a disappointing “Leftover Woman”.

But now it has just become too late, the door opened and there he was…

“Ba, Ma, Maple.” He called out to my childhood name like no time had passed since we were together. He walked toward me and sat beside me, “sorry I was late, I went by your art exhibition first before coming here. Very unique, like you.”

I smiled. He smiled. That gaze, the lingering glance, our separate worlds reunited.

We walked in the misty rain along the cobblestone road lined with green, yellow, and orange leafed maple trees. “I love when the cold breeze and the rain combine forces, I can feel it in my bones,” he smiled. He’s always so calming, gentle, and mysterious. We walked and walked like time never existed. I felt myself floating yet miraculously grounded. I too felt the rain and the breeze as an invitation to feel the forces of pure existence. Most people never open that invitation and just toss the gift aside. Likewise, I’ve lived closed off from existence for way too long… 

We walked up 6 flights of stairs as the rain began to darken. His apartment was well-lit but small – kitchen, dinning room, bedroom, and another room used as an art studio. I stood in the doorway of his art studio as he pulled down the dusty white coversheet to unveil his new work. I can smell the oil painting still fresh in the air.

Nude, pure rosy white skin, long black hair flowing in the wind. Expressionless. A bit cold, yet mysteriously alluring.

“This is my wife, we marry next month.” He stared off into the corner of the room, “my dad couldn’t comprehend why I fell in love. I guess I’ve always chased the inexplicable.”

I didn’t say anything and walked back to the dinning room and sat down. “So what type of work do you do now?” I was curious why he didn’t live on campus at the Art Institute as most of the children of the elite professors such as his dad also pursued professorships within the institution.

“I teach oil painting and philosophy at City College.” He sat across the small table, “of course my dad does not approve. He has always chased fame, money, and status. For me, I just want freedom.” 

I nodded. Remembering that steak tartare and fancy sushi were never my choice of lunch as a child.

We went on to discuss fractals and how it became became a profound expression of art for me. The chaos, the order, the intricacies, the universal patterns, the self resemblance. I’ve told him each of the pieces came to me as a divine gift – not of my own creation – each distinctively poignantly dictated by a higher intelligence. I’ve used it as a guidance system for my personal evolution.

“Yes, you are beginning to tap into the big ME and letting go of the little ME.” He lowered his voice and sounded so much like his dad lecturing. “Most people live their entire life or lives in the little ME and never expect or let alone imagine a way out. That’s the chaos in the fractal. Order only emerges when you zoom out into the big ME space. Fractals are a mirror into the infinite boundless zoomed-out space where only the big ME exists and the little ME is only a tiny approximation of the whole.”

Without the need to understand his wistful philosophy, I saw the excitement in his eyes, and from there I was momentarily transported into that unlimited existence.

“Just like you and me. We grew up together as little MEs. You believed you were you and I was me. When you moved away I was mourning and later realized you still remain a part of me. Like I was always a part of you. No time or distance can ever erase the you in me, and the me in you. Now that’s the expansion into the big ME.” I was lost in his words and instead reached into the feelings, “In all of the world’s philosophy and religion there’s a unified goal of explaining the obscure, the thing you may call Love, God, or big ME that’s always there, somewhat felt but unseen. Your fractal art is a doorway leading us into the big ME by zapping you instantaneously with the shapes and colors and beauty so you have no choice but to forget the little ME – even if just for an instant.”

Four hours passed like a single eternity. Just for an instant, I realized that he had given me more than just interview preparation, he had given me himself, that self which has always been a part of me…

September 13, 2020 Posted by | Self Realization | Leave a comment

I Took the Road Less Traveled

Most of you are probably familiar with Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken” and this is a poem I wrote to capture what I felt with his words during my hike last weekend in Kings Canyon National Park. Hope you will enjoy.



I Took the Road Less Traveled
Flo Li
(hiking with the spirit of Robert Frost)

crisp cold air, frozen earth, green grass covered in frost,
my finger tips are numb underneath the worn gloves;
seeking slivers of warm sunshine between dense branches above.

last night, curling in the homely blanket,
scent of grandma’s rich chocolate chip cookies still in my pocket,
sharing toasty hot cocoa next to that bright dancing sizzling fire…
the old cabin often creaked in the winter wind,
but we never cared,
we always feel safe snuggled next to one another
charmed the joyful air between our laughters.

hiking through hard, rocky, uneven terrain,
growing cold, weak, tired, and wanting to give up…
l patiently took each step knowing I shall never return;
yellow leafed trees reached out their arms toward the road,
I smile knowing I shall never return as the same.

the road less traveled I have chosen,
“bon courage” they said, nodded, and walked away;
“not for the faint of heart” they said, applauded, and traveled another way;
gallantry is not found in rehearsing my pompous acts
but my abidance in the inmost tip of one simple fact.
I shall choose this road over and over again,
how this way leads on to ways
to sights no imagination ventured
as the masses only care to pretend.

I have no luxurious garnish to show when the masses are clothed in twinkling aurora,
even my shoes are covered in dust.
yet, with each step, I have found something robust.
A solid allegiance,
timeless, formless, priceless verdict to trust.

indebted to these arduous steps,
my pilgrimage guided me here;
hidden in the crack of old wounds and deserted sorrows,
lies my durable spirit – shinning so brightly
only momentarily covered in rust.

October 27, 2019 Posted by | Self Realization | 1 Comment

Waking Up in LovE

Soaking in LovE – no explanations, no judgement, no fixes needed, no alteration necessary, nothing to add, nothing to change, nothing to involve, nothing to worry, nothing to grab hold, nothing to let go, nothing needed, yet ALL is vibrant and alive.

Feels like I’m SEEing for the first time… In awe with all forms yet there are no parts only expressions within the all encompassing. The trees are no different than my arms, the leaves and twigs are no different than my toes and toe nails, all is alive inside me as a part of ME. How can I describe this sweetness? How do I put this undifferentiated LovE into words? How do I hold back tears of joy? How do I even call this me?

This is bigger than Aikido, bigger than Yoga, bigger than Zen, bigger than anything form tries to illustrate. An illustration can never fulfill the completeness of the whole. Yet all illustrations and all forms are contained within the all encompassing. This vastness I feel that is all of ME has no edges, has no end, has no limit, has no parts, has no names. I AM limitless beyond freedom, beyond planet, beyond time, beyond ordinary senses… How could this be missed – it was here all along.

It takes so much effort to differentiate the things I see. It takes too much work keeping up with what I’ve learned. I cannot keep up the pretense – it is too heavy of a load to carry. Truthfully I AM the effortless BEING. I have no needs, I have no desires, I have no name, I have no preferences, I have no form, I have nothing at all. ALL of this is ME – from pieces of nuts and bolts to blades of grass, from the waves in an ocean to the not so distant moon, from the heart of a child to the lingering love of the deceased. All of this is ME. How can I differentiate the 5 elements when I see no difference in the sea and the sky? I see no difference in the soil and air. I see no difference in me and you. How could I even call you YOU when I KNOW this is all just ME – manifesting in forms.

Oh GOD how clever are you? The I AM before all of creation was forgotten in order to live this dream life. To believe in the details of manmade stories wholeheartedly. To not suspect that I AM the author to all of creation. That I AM that before all of creation. To humbly say that I am the I AM and You GOD has never been apart from the me as I believed to be. If fact, I AM only dreaming to be not of You. Yet how silly it all was when all of creation and pre-creation only exist in You. How do I not burst from this LOVE that tumbles within, waiting to be released! How do I not burst into pieces knowing I’ve lived here all along…

Oh God, how the mind is relentlessly trying to draw my awareness away from You and into the fairy tale make believe of the day. How I ran off into the wild illusory world to fight dragons and search for love. How long I have doubted if you ever loved me. The fear, the anger, the sadness, the pain, the self-improvement, the need to be better, the desire to be loved were all just a dream. Such drama lifetime after lifetime, form after form, breath after breath… All the battles lost because I have forgotten I am You. So humbly You.

The efforts I conjured to keep up my individual persona. The tears I cried to work hard to be someone. The sweat I exerted to push myself beyond my make belief limits. Oh all that was just the working of Maya. All that was just a forgotten Self. All that was never needed yet epically played. But today I am too tired… Too tired to keep up the false beliefs of millions of past lives. Too tired to be someone when indeed I am no one, I am no thing, and most improtantly I have never been separate from You.

How did I live in delusion for so long and how have I even encouraged others in their delusions to be a better individual when in fact there is no separation and there has never been! Oh how the conditioned mind insists on boundaries to perpetuate “you and me”. But I am too tired to keep up the charade. I can no longer say what is not. I am so tired. Too tired of being the individual me when all along I am the I AM. I am so tired. So tired to try any longer… Slowly the world was let go, all judgements melt away, and all forms are no longer substantial.  I am too tired to add meaning into emptiness. I am too tired to make up more beliefs.

Today, Now, I Rest in Peace. As the only, undifferentiated I AM.

This is the space of the PURE, the space of the uncreated, the space of emptiness, the space of nothing, the space of complete peace. I am too tired to come to any individual you, but if you like, come and find me here – in the I AM.

September 19, 2019 Posted by | Self Realization | Leave a comment

Be A Living Shrine


“The Divine does not like to be shut up in a building. The Divine likes to be out in the open. It is right here in this very body. Each one of us is a miniature universe, a living shrine.” – Morihei Ueshiba

When I started learning aikido, I read extensively about the founder of aikido and his philosophy. At that time I did not understand the true spiritual essence of aikido but I did feel the profound truth in his teachings that surpassed my intellect.  During that time, I would often experience a vivid reoccurring dream.

In my dream, O sensei would appear, floating in front of me, his white beard flowing freely in the wind; he would then smile, point to me, and tell me to build a shrine.

For many years I took the dream literally. When I inherited a dojo with exquisite traditional Japanese design, I worked tirelessly to keep our training space serene and pristine. We had a bamboo garden outside the dojo space, and a shrine inside. I would spend a whole day almost every week vacuuming all reachable corners and repainting walls. I would always light an incense everyday before class and send a prayer to O-sensei to thank him for his guidance. We eventually got a Torii (red gate shrine) installed at the entrance of the dojo.

Yet the reoccurring dream never stopped. Sometimes O-Sensei would laugh while touching his flowing white beard and tell me to build a shrine. And he never stopped pointing to me each time.

About a year ago that dojo closed and the desire to search for a new space for a dojo or build a shrine kept occurring in my thoughts. Yet something deeper inside me advised against it. I couldn’t logically understand what was happening but the dream just got more and more urgent. Something in O-Sensei was pointing toward me, not a space or a location but deeply inside ME.

Every morning I take a walk with my dog on the trails. During my walks I developed the tendency to listen to Mooji’s spiritual teaching pointing to the “I AM.” During this daily redirected awareness, the “I AM” prevails and the world drops away. The external world is no longer the source of my focus, and this body is no longer who I am, instead, I AM. I am “ALL” – a homogenous existence of undivided awareness, everything is me being experienced as a part of “ME”, things and events appear spontaneously as I – the watcher is observing all the happenings – untouched, untainted, and pure. When this is the state of “I”, all things are harmonious, it is the nature of all things, as no assistance from the little personal “I” is needed. When this is the state of “I”, no matter where my body takes me, peace is experienced, and peace is extended beyond this body.

Last night in my dream O -Sensei smiled and nodded his head.

Today, I’m sitting under the trees next to a fountain working in an outdoor coffee shop. I am witnessing the natural harmony that is occurring in my surroundings. This body is the shrine, not a thing out there. And to share this Art of Peace is by BEING the Art of Peace.

March 12, 2019 Posted by | Self Realization | Leave a comment

Aikido Life


Typical training day to explore freestyle movements at the Dojo of the Four Winds in Encinitas

It was raining, traffic was light, and the lights by the on-ramp of the freeway had been turned off after the heavy morning commute. I was driving behind a fancy sports car heading down the on-ramp and suddenly the car stops right by the traffic light in front of me leaving me no time to break. Trying to break yet sliding on fresh rain, unable to stop in time, I swerved to the right lane and quickly passed by. No red traffic light, yet the car decided to stop. Somehow my base model CRV got out of the way effortlessly, and to my surprise I was completely calm.

My training partner always shared with me that aikido should translate into all aspects of our lives, and I agree. At the time he and I had been training for several months getting ready for our 3rd degree black belt test. We trained extensively in freestyle with three attackers, and were learning that part of being effective is the concept of evasion. I was getting better at sliding by an attacker without an active confrontation. In our training this allowed time to face the next attacker and the one after that. I never thought much of it during training. Most of the time training was training and I was just trying to survive. Only in hindsight was I able to see that my training in aikido saved me from countless near accidents on the road.

Several years ago I spent five and a half weeks in Japan visiting family and training in aikido. After a whole day of training, I would ride my bike back to the apartment late at night feeling completely exhausted and unable to think straight. The side streets merging onto the main road were small and dim. The last night during my stay, friends took me out to celebrate with traditional sushi and lots of beer. As I got on my bike to head back, it was already past midnight. There was almost no traffic on the road and I was riding along the main road submerged in my own thinking. Suddenly a dark transport truck came out of the perpendicular dark alley cutting directly in front of my path. My eyes glazed and my body moved on its own. The next thing I knew I took a quick right angle turn and was traveling parallel side-by-side right next to the truck – my body touching its dusty driver side door. I told sensei what happened the next day and he laughed, “YES! That is aikido! Good Pivot!”

In the first instance the evasion training in freestyle helped me to escape a collision in the fresh rain. In the second instance the pivoting technique we use often helped me to avoid getting hit by a truck. And this natural harmony was happening more and more in my life where conflicts used to occur. I thought perhaps I was just lucky, but on later reflection I was able to see how aikido training of the body/mind/energy has made me more effective in navigating in life without “collisions”. Most other martial arts I’ve experienced or seen embraced “collisions” as a way to win or dominate in any given situation. Instead, aikido asks practitioners to re-wire our thinking from fight-or-flight to harmonious interactions in any confrontation. With so many of our teen students getting ready to drive, I can’t help but smile to myself that aikido training is producing better drivers on the road. In a small way perhaps we are making a difference.


February 8, 2019 Posted by | Aikido Wisdom, Inner Growth, Self Realization | , , , , | Leave a comment

All Pieces of ME


Who is your True Love flower?
Is it the rain that kisses you so tenderly?
Is it the wind who softly holds your body for a swift dance?
Or is it the ground who bears with your depth and supports your growth?
Or the sun with her sometimes warm other times intense gaze?
Or perhaps it has always been…
That fulfilling Emptiness…

The Space – that is the original birthplace for All that Is.

(This poem has been inspired by my Isha Yoga Bhuta Shuddhi practice – according to Sadhguru, every yogic practice finds its roots in Bhuta Shuddhi – the cleansing of the 5 elements. “Cleansing the body periodically is an essential part of making it available for greater possibilities. It’s always best to detox your body naturally, and this can start right at home. Yogi and mystic, Sadhguru, gives us simple methods to cleanse the five elements of the system and looks at how to detox your body naturally.”)

May 8, 2018 Posted by | Self Realization | 3 Comments

Sinking into the Present Moment

Recently I’ve been increasingly busy with hosting aikido seminars, entertaining out-of-town guests, moving dojos, etc. I’m always on the go – from one activity to another – from one moment to another. For me, I have lived a life based on planning, on moving busily, on getting things done – and I’ve thrived in this place where I find life to be of value in the doing. On the one hand it is very useful as I can be highly effective, but it is a double-edged sword. When I’ve lived in this tendency for too long, it becomes a routine, and I become increasingly unable to relax into the present moment. Last night I realized it is my goals, my wanting, my expecting the next steps in life – that are not allowing me to be fully and completely resting in this very moment. Children at play are wonderful at being present, they move spontaneously without the slightest self-consciousness. We as adults have lost that spontaneity. Because we are so responsible, we always plan, we react, we estimate a few steps ahead of what is happening in order to make the most responsible decisions. This is a double-edged sword which when used too often can mask one’s natural awareness. When we live in the modality of always aiming forward into the future, we have already taken ourselves out of the present moment. Anxiety, tension, and stress live here when our body cannot fully relax into this particular moment. We are always fleeing, chasing after an imagined future, or running away from the now – without ever establishing a firm ground. These tendencies make us forever dissatisfied with the present moment of what is as we are chasing after what could be.


In the Jacques Payet Shihan SoCal seminar, we learned a relaxed and a balanced state grounded in Emptiness is more powerful than any forceful confortations.

In aikido, as beginners we are told to balance our weight 60-40 and to put most of our focus forward. This is a wonderful tool as we human beings naturally lean back and hesitate moving into the unknown. I can see in my beginner students as they learn the principal of 60/40, they become more and more balanced. In their bodies they might be feeling “I’m putting 60% on my front foot and 40% on my back foot”, but in observation the body is actually closer to 50/50. For advanced students, the body becomes more and more aware that 60/40 is out of balance, so 50/50 becomes the natural preference as the energy expands in the direction of the partner. With our body we are balanced 50/50, our mind is projected forward into the direction of the partner, and the energy naturally expands into the direction of the connection made with the partner. This is when the body is 50/50, but the body/mind/energy can be approximated to 60/40 – feeling as if we are moving forward or leaning forward, yet it is just the awareness that is just slightly ahead of the body.

In our awareness training, I would ask students to sink into this moment – even when we are faced with the most challenging, the most unsolvable circumstances. This is the moment a greater power can be most easily accessible. One particular exercise we do is the side-strike exercise when the attacker comes to strike to the side of the head. Our natural instinct is to block an oncoming attack for self-preservation. Aikido teaches the best angle to unbalance the oncoming attack is to move into the direction of the attack and re-direct the attack before it builds power. In my days as a bioengineer, we studied bodies in motion and various vector analyses to change a trajectory of a committed movement. The mind can easily analyze the force and trajectory needed to redirect the incoming vector, however, there is a delay in response. The time it takes your logical mind to analyze the incoming force and trajectory and find a powerful enough redirecting force and trajectory to not only unbalance the incoming attack but the actual attacker… Now the math gets more complicated…

Our first attempt to analyze with vector analysis failed. Now, let’s try to move our body and get there to block the attack before the strike can build up power. This is exactly how we teach beginners. We go through reps and reps of trial and error as the attacker tries to bring forth the same force and trajectory each time. And somehow every once in a while we can succeed and find an opening that is good enough to reflect, redirect, or even unbalance the attacker. But we realize the attacker will never attack the same way twice. The timing, angle, speed, and intention will always be different. Then how do you learn to always, unfailingly stay ahead of the attacker? Just practice. Or find a deeper insight.

Now, let’s try something even more difficult to describe. First, relax. Be completely ok with this moment. Sink into this moment, and know that you are already completely in sync with this moment. The more relaxed your upper body is, the more you can sense your synchronicity with the external world. Now scan the body to let go unneeded tension. The body naturally drops the awareness lower into the center, hips, legs, and feet. No effort. Just acknowledgement. In this state of no effort, your awareness expands, your aperture is more open than your normal modality, and you can move your body easily. And somehow your timing is always just right – without trying, without efforting, without calculating. Even when your timing is off – usually late, because of your heaviness of being, if your center is lower and more grounded than the attacker’s, you can still breathe and expand to become energetically bigger, and somehow the attacker is unbalanced.

To me O-sensei’s words “I cannot be defeated” have the quality of the latter. When the awareness is completely in sync with the present moment, we “see” the happening before it actually takes place in our own intuitive field of awareness. Unfailingly as we are one with the Ground-of-Being, we move without being hurried, and we move with the perfect precision.

In your daily mindfulness play, see how you find yourself always fleeing this moment or leaping into the next moment. Don’t condemn it. Just notice it. The awareness of it can bring a sense of instant balance. Then just pay a little attention to your center – your hara, and your lower back. The attention then naturally flows back into the Self. Now, just breathe. As we are truly sinking into this moment, we tend to relax, we let go, we are softer, more gentle, more aware, more open, more alive, and more ourselves. This is the moment that holds great power, not in the doing, but in the being. The “being” is no longer a verb, but a state, or a location, or even a singularity, where all time/space/individuality collapses into the Emptiness of the individual and expands into the pure Awareness of Being.

April 17, 2018 Posted by | Self Realization | 1 Comment

Finding Beauty In Rare Places

Beauty comes in many different forms in this life – inner peace, wisdom, music, dance, painting, photography, color, aliveness, laughter, smile, touch…


Yosemite Valley with Yosemite Falls in the backdrop – Nov 2017, FloLiPhotography.com

Often times the propaganda of society makes us feel the need to seek external beauty and external validation in order to find inner peace or true beauty. I can purchase the newest liquid eye liner to achieve deep glowing mysterious eyes when someone gazes into my soul. I can mesmerize someone with my plump kissable lips. I can even have my perfect glossy flowing hair that projects a sense of carefreeness and effortless beauty.  Beauty magazines everywhere are paid to advertise to us to consume more and more products in order to feel adequate. In my teens, I never felt adequate. And I always thought of myself as the ugly duckling growing up and that feeling only intensified into my twenties. I didn’t have the effortless beauty others projected in the magazines and I didn’t have the soft flowing blonde hair and blue eyes I thought as standards of beauty. I too once believed that the girls in the magazines were the true measures of beauty where I always fell short of the norm.

In my late twenties and early thirties I had to endure many hardships. With scars on my face and a fractured body from a cycling crash, with stiffness in my neck after a serious whiplash, being romantically rejected by a man I thought was my soulmate only added to my sense of inadequacy and worthlessness. During my hardest hours no one could understand my pain and eventaully nothing I did externally offered me comfort and relief. I had nowhere to turn but to go within. It was only when I turned inward that I found what I really am and that knowing is now always the true solace nothing external can ever offer me.

Nowadays beyond the place of solace and comfort, I’ve found beauty in some rare places I have forgotten to look – such as a momentary bloom of a flower so vibrant and filled with life, or a gentle smile of a child who is at peace, or the individual notes so artfully formed into an alluring symphony.  We are all filled with so much beauty inside each and everyone of us – some parts are shown and others are waiting to be discovered. As I have discovered the most beautiful thing about the hardships I’ve endured or you are currently enduring is they hold the potential to cut you open so deeply that you are exposed to the very core of what you really are – when there is nothing else left to cover up the true you, naturally more light and more beauty will shine through.

Be thankful my friends. No matter what you are going through. Like a diamond in the making, the heat and pressure is there to make you stronger and brighter. Use the discomfort and hardship to shine even more beautifully. After a while, you too will discover beauty is never something out there, it is inside – sometimes getting expressed externally. The beauty you discover inside has always been there in the most rare places and somehow you will see that beauty has always been with you throughout the entire eternity.

December 3, 2017 Posted by | Self Realization | 2 Comments